Honey, Does This Look Like Cherry Kool-Aid To You?

Hi guys

So you thought Dan would go into the hospital, have a 1 hour outpatient procedure, go home and get back to work within two days, right? Well, guess again, kids. This boy can’t do anything that simple.

I went into the hospital on Monday for the surgery which was quite successful. The doctor left one tiny tumor because he couldn’t get at it with the hospital equipment, which is very rigid. To do so, he would have had to “crack the prostate” in order to get to it. I thanked him profusely for not doing so. He decided to take care of it within a couple of weeks, after I had healed. The multiple biopsies that he took came back free and clear along with the kidney scans and all that.

So, here I go back to work on Thursday, thinking everything is A-OK only to realize that one leg was getting bigger than the other. By Thursday evening, my ass was lying in a hospital bed after having a Doppler done on my leg only to find it full of multiple DVT’s or clots, to the normal person.

I ended up spending my total vacation lying on my back in a hospital bed, an extremely nice one though, with an IV in my arm and another catheter, you know where, trying to figure out who I had pissed off in my last life.

It seems that not only had I developed DVT’s but the original surgery was causing me to bleed out form all of the mini biopsies I had undergone. The reason why I was bleeding out was the fact that the only way to treat DVT’s is to fill the body with Lovenox, a needle injected into the stomach twice a day to thin the blood and Coumadin, a pill that is taken once a day to thin it even more. Unfortunately, when you have open wounds, either inside or outside of your body, you tend to bleed from those wounds until they get accustomed to the amount of blood thinners you are receiving at any given time.

At one point, the hospital was getting ready to give me a transfusion due to the loss of blood. Oh, by the way, I am A+ in case you guys want to give me a Christmas gift or something.

Anyway, all of a sudden, I stopped bleeding yesterday and was told that I could go home, which is where I am right now. I am nursing a sore bladder, a sore set of kidneys, a tally-whacker that has had more shit put into it than Governor Spitzer’s girlfriend and a fat leg. But I am home and I am getting better.

I still twitch at the sight of garden hoses and Cherry Kool-Aid has new meaning to me. (That will be another story) Cranberry juice is my friend and I miss all of you.

I promise to stay in touch.

Dan