Honey, Did You Move the Trailer?

Hello everyone. I have been remiss by not blogging any sooner. I have been home recuperating and, basically, doing nothing. When that happens, my brain tends to shift into neutral.

So, I am back to work and reading the news and couldn’t stay away from these two stories.

Guess who has a new girlfriend. Okay, here are a couple of clues:

1. He walks around in pajamas all day
2. He currently has three blond girlfriends
a. Not a single one of them can string a sentence together
b. Their cumulative bra sizes are EEE
3. He used to smoke a pipe but now probably smokes a “blunt” filled with Viagra

If you were thinking Michael Jackson, you were close, but no cigar tube.

Yes, it’s true, our boy Hef has a new squeeze. Her name is Anna Faris and, apparently, is considered to be a bubbly blond, which really means that she is as dumb as a fire hydrant. Apparently, poor little Anna had to work her ass off to be picture perfect for a part she will be playing in Playboy’s “The House Bunny”

She is quoted as saying, “I did very little to emotionally prepare: I worked out, I got hair extensions and bought lots of padded bras” Wow!! I don’t know about any of you, but I really feel for her.

Okay, enough about that bunch of idiots.

Here’s the real story I want to comment on. There is a 76 year old Georgia woman who is currently sitting in jail, accused of killing five people, four of which were husbands.

One husband was shot to death in his home. She collected $10,000 when her son died suddenly. She had a hefty life insurance policy on husband number 5, who died in October of poisoning and another husband committed suicide in front of her. That’s four people and now she is being investigated for another husband homicide.

To say that this is an evil person would be a complete understatement. But what kind of idiots married this woman. I’ve seen pictures; This is not a “looker” in any sense of the word. She has a vicious overbite that would allow her to eat an apple through a picket fence.

I am trying to envision the dinner date with this woman.

“So Betty, have you ever been married before?”

“Sure have. A number of times. Unfortunately, most of my husbands tended to die suddenly. It sure was nice of them to make sure I was well cared for, if you know what I mean. Could you pass the bread?”

“So, how many times have you been married?”

“Four or five times. I seem to have lost count. By the way, on our way home, could you stop at the Piggly Wiggly? I need to pick up some anti freeze.”

“Sure, no problem. If there is anything else you need, I can pick it up for you.”

“Since you’re asking; I have a couple of heavy trash bags in my trunk…”

Anyway, you get the picture. Have a wonderful evening.