Honey, Where Did You Put My Shoes?

There is something afoot in Canada.

Apparently, feet have been washing ashore in the Vancouver area for over the past year and the local constabulary is at wit’s end trying to figure out what is going on.

The latest foot washed ashore yesterday and a Sgt. Mike Tresoor with the world famous RCMP said that it apparently looked like a right foot. Hmmm! Good to know they can tell the difference. According to the reports, all feet washed ashore while still encased in running shoes.

After extensive DNA testing, it seems that none of the feet belong to anyone that the police know. Well, that’s a relief.

The reason why the feet have washed ashore, according to the RCMP, is because they were encased in running shoes and, therefore, remained buoyant. This is a good thing to know if you are ever being chased by a great white shark. Always wear your running shoes while swimming and they will always find your feet. Also a good idea, if you ever find yourself wading in the pristine waters of northwest Canada where grizzlies tend to also wade. Apparently, running shoes don’t taste good and are, basically, left behind.

Sergeant Tresoor also stated, “The object (the foot) will ultimately be examined by a forensic pathologist in attempts to determine the source of the foot…”

I always thought that feet were usually a part of a body, but, hey, that’s just me.

My theory is that three people got eaten by either a killer whale or a grizzly (it all matters where the departed were at the time) and, because their feet were encased in rubber, the critter that devoured them was not able to digest that part, and, basically crapped them out. Kind of like the equivalent of eating corn. You get my drift.

And with that, I must leave you for the day. I will try to get one more out before surgery but will probably be home cowering in a corner for the weekend in anticipation of having a new object squeezed into you know where and hearing the simple sounds of my doctor saying to his nurse, “Wow, do you really think this is going to fit?”